Crowdaphobia

Yes, another random post indeed.  I heard tonight that there is a car show scheduled for tomorrow here in downtown T-Vegas, and in two weeks, there will be a parade.  Now I sure remember being excited as a young lad when I was able to attend large-scale events, especially ones where I would get to see Santa Clause or get to eat greasy food (I was a bit chunky... quit laughing).  You better believe that if my son gets to the age where he wants to see Santa by attending one of these boring parades... or wants to see Nantucket play on stage 3 and eat cotton candy (please though Lord, I don't think I deserve it), I will be there and be as happy as I can be.

I don't plan it, it just seems to fall in my favor that I have been out of town or otherwise obligated during the Everybody's Days and BBQ festivals of the year.  I am NOT a crowd lover at all.  I like a few people, and I like to know them all.  The first year or two during Everybody's Day, I thought I had to be here to protect my property during these events.  I stayed out on the patio to run unruly kids off my lawn and parking lot, and to keep people from blocking my only exit to the street behind us.  Now, I just try to be gone and plan on cleaning up when I get back.  One of the same years where I was playing "property security guard", I walked across the street only to fight my way through impatient and disrespectful teens and thugs to get a piece of greasy $8 chicken.  I tell you the truth, I would rather work crime scene clean up with nothing but a plastic bag and a paper towel than to do that again.  Just like some people love the fair, what the crap?  I hate the fair (no worries Beth, I'll still take you).  You go spend tons of money to walk on dirt, pet a midget horse in a tent, see a no name musician, and spend 3 hours trying to fling a plastic frog into an orbiting glass bowl only to win a bobble-head monkey you sell at a yard sale 2 months later. 

          Might as well say "Fried Taters n' Meat"

We are finally getting to the phase where we are becoming more and more confident our house building phase will begin soon.  I can not wait!  A big yard to mow, no sirens or trains, no crackheads peeing in on my trash can, no drug arrests outside my door (yes, it happened), and no big events that seem to bring out every degenerate known to man.  I think if I raise my son just right... he will enjoy tractors, outside work, football games, and hunting.  All I can do is hope that he will also have crowdaphobia like his dad.  

I laugh now, because of all the redneck things my dad and I could have possibly done together, he chose the reddest one.  He used to buy tickets to every tractor pull and monster truck event in the piedmont.  I was drug to the dance recitals, but not too many kids raised in the North can say they attended monster truck rallies.  Even though it's funny now, I wouldn't trade those memories for anything in the world.  It's amazing to me, that out of everything I managed to attend in the 80's, I never remember having to wait in like 30 minutes for a candy apple or watch a beach boys cover band....  What has the world come to?  Maybe Crowdaphobia doesn't develop until adulthood when you realize one fact that can't be contested... There are many fools among us.  As for me, I'd rather stay among the few that aren't.