Like millions of others, I couldn't resist the urge this year to be the Joker from the movie "Dark Knight". Heath Ledger was an amazing actor, and pulled this role off perfectly. The makeup was great, so I figured here's my chance. As I expected though, I was still looking for half my costume on halloween day, and had my wife running around looking at consignment stores for a vest to complete the attire while I set everything up at the apartment. Well, she was unable to find my vest. So I dressed as the vest-less Joker this year, but it was still fun... sort of. The picture below is one of the only two I've found, I'm sure there are others floating around. Everybody seemed to like the costume, but I'm overly picky and think it could been much much better. If anybody has a better picture than this, please share it. Also, if you have any pictures from Friday night you'd like me to put on this post.... this is the one to do it, so please share those as well.
Anyhow, I forgot how busy throwing a "get together" can be. I left work around lunch and really never completed my decorating and preparing and cleaning before people started to arrive. As the night crawled on, I felt continuously busy... running around making sure food was where it needed to be, getting cups, spoons, and plates, plugging things in, and trying to get the stupid fog machine to work.
You heard me right, I told you I go overboard with Halloween. I borrowed a fog machine from the church. My thinking was exactly this, "How cool would it be to lightly fog the steps up to the patio! That would look creepy...." Well, here's how it really went. The fog machine would squirt out a shot of fog that looked more like a baby poot about once an hour. So once an hour, it basically looked like somebody had blown out a candle. Everytime I passed this device, I kept saying to myself "What the heck is wrong with this thing!! Chris said to push the button when the light was on... and the light's not coming on!!" So naturally, everytime I walked by it I had to mess with it. The last time I messed with it, I held the button contraption upright, and the fog machine went off like crazy. I was so excited I just held the button down for like 30 seconds to make sure it got foggy. IT DID. The next few people leaving my apartment couldn't see a thing, I'm lucky nobody fell down my stairs. There was nothing creepy about it, it was just basically annoying.
Well, I went to sit down... finally. I was thinking.... "Whew... I think this is the first time I've gotten to sit down tonight". I was barely into the conversation when one of the girls outside with a baby monitor said, "Matt, listen to this.... is that your fire alarm?" OH CRAP. First of all, there are like 7 babies sleeping inside my apartment. My first thought was that Beth was going to shoot me. The reason the fog was making it inside was because I had left the door cracked for some drop cords. She had already warned me telling me that she didn't want the apartment all foggy. I went inside, and it was BAD foggy.....
My smoke alarms weren't going off, but my CPI security alarm was, probably sensing the carbon in the fog. Well, we've had problems with our CPI this week, and a service man had just been over Thursday. Yay for us that it didn't work on this occasion AGAIN. No one came over the intercom to check our status. I was running around opening windows and doors when I noticed I had missed a call on my cellphone. I looked down to see a (704) number and realized that I had already missed a call from CPI. I immediately called the number back, trying twice before getting through. When I got somebody on the line I said with panic, my alarm has went off, and nobody came over the intercom, and nobody called my house phone... again. I told her to cancel anybody she had dispatched. Naturally, she has to put me on hold with some peaceful Mozart music to sooth my soul while she cancels every public safety figure in Thomasville.
It was at this time I hear sirens.... everywhere. They were coming from the left, from the right, and from behind my apartment. You can not imagine the feeling in my stomach. She comes back on the phone and says, "Sir, I've tried to cancel... but I keep getting a busy signal". THANK YOU VERY MUCH MS LIPPY!!! I'm so glad that my alarm can go off and you can have the FBI's SWAT team here in 7.3 seconds. I keep the phone to my ear for effect (I don't really know why). I lean out my open window and I'm now staring at two ladder trucks and many firemen in their turnout gear. Dudes are running around the truck getting gear ready to fight a blazer.
Take a quick glance back at my Joker get-up if you need to, because that's what everyone else was looking at. As I quickly glance around, I notice that there are no less than 30 people on both sides of the street practically setting up beach chairs to watch the action. What are they staring at now? They are watching the Joker hang out of a window that is pouring "smoke", telling them it's ok. I think my exact words were something like this: "It's cool we're good!! No fire!! .......My fog machine went crazy bro!! ....We're fine!!...... I'm really sorry!! It's CPI's fault!" I realized I was still holding a silent phone to my ear and took advantage, pointing to it. "They tried to cancel, but kept getting a busy signal!!!.... You guys got a phone off the hook?"
This poor old captains face was priceless. It was a somewhat confused look which combined feelings of "What the crap?", "Is that the Joker?", "Does anyone up there look like a hostage?", and "I can't believe I got out of bed for this". I felt super guilty, knowing what it takes to get a truck out of the bay... much less two or three. I think I'll ATTEND a Halloween party next year. The First Annual Halloween bash may have been the last. Maybe I should throw Thanksgiving bashes instead... but without fog machines.
5 comments:
CLASSIC!!! As a bystander to the above mentioned story, I can confirm that all information contained herein is both factual and absolutely hilarious.
Great party!
Carbon will do that to alarm systems
MAN...I really missed out on a good memory! That is SO stinkin funny...I love the well placed cell phone prop--really comes in handy when you want to look desperate.
Dude...I really enjoyed crashing your party. I was able to sample some fine hummus, smoke a fantastic Oliva, have some stimulating political discussions with other guests, see the Joker in person and then see T-villes finest fire, rescue, and police officers in action, all in one evening. Forget attending someone elses party next year. No one throws em like you.
-Brent
This is HILAROUOS!!! I think you should throw the party again... but make it a tradition to see what bizzre ways you can get the police, fire, SWAT, ect. to your house... You could get pretty creative.
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