Thursday, January 1, 2009

The Greatest Terrible Year Ever...

That's right, I said it.  2008 was, for me, the greatest terrible year ever.  

2008 has been a difficult year for me with many challenging events.  I've hugged the neck of my best friend who lost both his grandfathers and another friend who lost his Aunt.  I recently lost my Uncle, the one I've always lived near and been closest to. 

This past year also provided me with the loss of my dog Decker to a sudden tumor, he was my best dog to date and didn't even make it to 4 years old.  My mom's poodle, Molly, was also put down this year.  She made it to somewhere around 15 years old, and for some reason preferred me and mom over dad and Lindy.  Naturally, I've rested on many furniture pieces with that little one growing up.  As some of you know, Beth and I have now set a NC record for trying to finalize house building plans for the longest period of time.  Yeah that's right, another setback this year... and most likely we will now be looking into completely new plans because of affordability.  

Although entirely more rewarding than disappointing, Chris and Lindy's relocation to Kenya has been difficult for us for many reasons.  We are very close to them (Lindy is like a sister to me) and spent tons of time together. 

There's tons of small stupid things I could list from traffic tickets and appeals cases to vehicle malfunctions and graduating students leaving the youth.  Basically, all this paired with the job change (which has been somewhat of a tough transition for me... I'm not a natural salesman), the economic crisis, and the election... 2008 would have completely went down in my top 3 worst years had it not been for one little boy (and the Patriots getting beat in the Super Bowl... but to mention that would be shallow, right?)

I had been told A LOT of things about parenthood before I became I entered it.  It has all been true too, for the most part.  There is one thing that stands out that I was never told though.  One thing that, if asked, I would tell someone immediately about parenting.  Chris and Lindy, consider this my addition of factual parenthood and what is to come.

Levi makes everything better.  He knows no stress, no worldly influence, he knows nothing of competition, technology, the economy, or the war.  In his mind, there is no conceptual reality that differs life from death, rich from poor, or good from evil.  He is happy when he is rested, clothed, and fed.  Half the time, he entertains himself with whatever he can find on the floor or a button to push 3,343 times... stopping to clap after every 3 pushes.  What an amazing blessing.  At my lowest points and saddest moment, I have looked at his face to see him smile and everything was a least a lot better than it was.  For reasons that wander well beyond the obvious, I had a brief breakdown upon hearing of Jeff's death.  Levi thought I was laughing I guess, so he just sat there and laughed at me.  What did I do without that before?  He has made life so much more wonderful that I can't even remember what life was without him.  If someone told me that parenthood was no indication of God's presence, I would pray that God would break through that skeptical barrier because it would be too thick for anyone else to. 

As my pastor once said, there is no one person or mass of people that he would sacrifice his own child for...  I agree completely.  I can not comprehend a love any stronger could exist.  It did, and it still does.  The Creator of the Universe had a Son much more special than mine.   He also made everything better, but beyond that he made all things new.  His Son was also perfect and changed all norms.  Never before or after has a King been born among animals, raised in poverty, lived to serve others, and died an unimaginable death to save us from our own death.  This tells me how wrong I am to become so bonded to this World and how society works around me.  All that has been wrong with my year means nothing.  

We have been awarded the promise of a day with no goodbyes, no tears, no loss, and no pain.  Levi has been the face of peace for me this year, but I can not comprehend the true peace that awaits me.  As a personal challenge for myself, I look forward to allowing God to show me my purpose by erasing the norms placed in my heart and mind by the World and replacing them with His own Word.  I encourage you to do the same.  To all the challenges of 2009, may they strengthen us in ways we are unable to understand.

4 comments:

cathy hudler said...

When we look at all we have suffered through we may call it a rough year. But, when we look at all we have, all else pales. I love that you remind everyone of the promise that exist for believers. Heaven is defined as "a place of eternal bliss". That is what awaits us. So, whether good or bad days, one thing is certain: our future!

I do hope for you guys that you experience no more loss this year and that your business prospers!

Unknown said...

Matthew,
I think it's called "Spiritual Maturity". And it's something few professing Christians ever grow into or attempt to grow into. If all things were equatited numerically, then the loss and pain of 2008 wouldn't measure much against that of your faith.
"I don't want to gain the whole world; to lose my soul."

~Chris

Anonymous said...

Good words my friend...and a great perspective on a year we all can soon forget.

I never knew you had such a gift for writing!

-Neil

Unknown said...

great blog- i read it a long time ago but didn't make a comment. Your comment on our adoption blog.... HILARIOUS. I, like JEssica,peed a bit after I read it. It made me miss you- but only a little bit. JK- I love you and wish my nights weren't as quiet. When you are up with your boy at 3am- think of my nights... sleeping... but wishing I was up with him.