Monday, February 16, 2009

Entertainment through Stupidity

Wow.... I didn't realize it'd been so long since I "blogged". I never really have anything important to say anyways, so I won't use that excuse.

Again, I don't have anything important to say now. I just thought I'd comment on people that do stupid stuff for attention. I've now watched two shows in a row, in which people do stupid stuff repeatedly. Why? I guess to have their own show.... I'm not really sure. Bear Grylls is now eating big berries out of bear poo... and I just got done watching some bald British guy tie himself up and sink himself to the bottom of a huge tank filled with ice.

I guess my biggest question is... where do these guys get their start? Did "Bear" Grylls crawl around his backyard when he was 13 looking for fruity dog droppings so he could make a name for himself? Did he know he would have his own show by the time he started eating raw snails and scorpions? It kills me how he always says, "This should give me a bitta energy...." Yes that's what we should do. Eat poo for energy. I'm sure we all feel very energized after eating poo and vomiting like we've got a parasite (because we probably do by this point). Geez, what a moron. He's got that backpack on... always. He has water in it, why can't he stuff the rest of the space with Cliff Bars or something? I mean, I would actually think he was smarter if he did that.
My point is this: If you're in the middle of the Ozarks and you're lost, chances are you weren't planning on it. So if you want actual reality, let me go smack Bear Grylls out of bed and drag him to the Ozarks in his Austin Powers undie-roos with nothing but a toothbrush and his teddy bear. NOW it's survival time. Go survive... go on mate.

Right this very minute... Bear is showing us how to widdle the end of a stick to make a spear, just in case a real bear comes at night (ha!). In case you didn't know, it takes a thirty-something year old military survivor man to show us men how to do something we already had perfected when we were SEVEN. Here's your sign "Bear". We all know you stayed at a Holiday Inn Express last night....

I bet your real name is Gaylord....

2 comments:

Unknown said...

Wow... ABOUT TIME!

HAha! Now, you KNOW whilst you were doing your weekly choir in the back yard that you THOUGHT about tasting some of that delicious poo Buck and Lady worked so hard on.

love you
ps- your comment was funny.
I think that it's hard to tell from the photo, but i think people are missing that the picture is this MASSIVE cow in a tiny truck. I came up with "Fat Cow in a little truck" - say it like Tommy boy though.

Vonda said...

He eats the Cliff Bars when we're watching the commercials. My favorite episode was when he and some Mongols (they looked like Mongols anyhows) slaughtered a yak just to eat the raw liver. All that yak for one little liver. Did you know Walmart doesnt even carry yak liver? I had my heart set on it too.
-Brent