Tuesday, September 23, 2008

My Un-guessable Top 20

Yep, that's right... you won't know them. Well, there are a couple of exception where people have just figured it out.  I think even my wife would only guess a couple of them.  For most of you though, these are my top 20 favorite things you never knew I loved. Here goes....


Honerable Mention:  Motorcycle Sidecars.  I don't care what kind of mood I'm in, I am a huge fan of something that can make me erupt in laughter anytime I see it.  Have you ever seen an old man driving a Goldwing with his wife in a sidecar?  I automatically picture Beth and I doing this activity.  Whats worse, she would want to drive so I'd be in that little car with the turtle helmet on.  

Yes, I added this after the fact because I couldn't believe I forgot it.  It was the only thing on my written list I forgot.

#20) Board Shorts. Seriously, what were we thinking all those years with the whole "net" deal?  It had to have been an old woman that invented it and Richard Simmons who trademarked the neon colors used in those suits. 

#19) Watching a Dog Howl. Dang this is cool to watch, because there's just something funny about a dog puckering it's lips.... not to mention, it just sounds cool.

#18) Post it Notes. Short, to the point, sticks anywhere... awesome.

#17) Remote Control. What would we do without this tiny piece of technological goodness?  That's right, we would have to get up.  You know as well as I do that we wouldn't even turn on the TV. 

#16) New Socks. I know one person who sees eye to eye with me about this! Great feel, perfect fit, not all stretched out, no slack in the sock to foot area, one of the better things in life for sure.  New socks are the only ones I make absolute sure that the inside of the sock... is on the inside. 

#15) Hotdogs at a ballpark.  Man seriously, these may not be good for your heart, but they are great for your happiness. All the way please...

#14) Tasers.  Geez, how awesome are those... seriously.  I begged to get one the whole time I was at the PD.  When do they get 'em?  When I leave.  Excellent.  Do you realize how many fights I could have avoided by holding voltage in my hand? I've already told my buddies to taze me when they get the chance.  Plus, you tell me one American who doesn't like to watch somebody get tazed!

#13) Zippers.  I don't know Mr. Zipper, but he was a genius.  Have you ever accidently bought a pair of button fly jeans?  You basically have to put "go pee" in a 15 minute slot of your day planner.  Can't imagine how long it took those 1800's kid's to close their book bags....

#12) Cereal Milk.  I sometimes wonder how successful I would be with the young people if I just invented "Frosted Flakes Cereal Milk".  It seems as though I eat through the flakes to slurp up the milk goodness at the bottom.  DELECTABLE.

#11) Harp Music.  You shouldn't wonder why angels play harps.  What else would they play?  Accordions? (That'd just be hilarious by the way... I sure hope they do)  Maybe the Irish angels play bagpipes... that'd be pretty cool too.  Harp music is awesome, bottom line.  You show me a person who plays the harp, and I'll show you a friend of Matt.

#10) Cheese.  Yes, some may be laughing out there, but it's true.  It would have never been revealed if it wouldn't have been for a slip up a few years back.  I ate a bit too much cheese, and it hurt me.  I love about any kind of cheese except American.  Americans can't make cheese worth a crap.

#9) NFL Football.  This could have easily also have been included in my Halloween/Autumn listing, but it really needs one of it's own.  I love sports... college football, college basketball, baseball...you name it.  But honestly, there's just nothing like NFL football.  I can watch anybody play at anytime, and it will hold my full attention. Fantasy football is just an added bonus and a great opportunity to waste my time.

#8) Lanterns.  You know, I don't own one...only because of the coolness factor, but I sure would like to.  I just know that people would think I'm weird... out walking the dog with my lantern.   But you know what?  They wouldn't mess with me!  Who messes with a dude in dark clothing with a dog and a lantern?

#7) Smell of gasoline, fresh cut grass, and cedar.  No I do not have a problem.  The smell of gasoline, cut grass, and spanish cedar together really send me into a euphoric state, I have to slap myself.

#6) Blue Jeans.  If I could, I would wear them everyday for the rest of my life.  Unfortunately, I have to restrain myself. 

#5) Good guacamole.  I am telling you, if I had good "guac" to eat everyday I'd be the fattest friend you had.  I'll dip anything in that stuff, even my own foot. 

#4) Fighter Jets.  If you are a guy, and you don't get testosterone chill bumps when they do a fly-by at a ballgame or race... go get checked out.  You are clinically dead.

#3) Halloween and Autumn.  My very favorite holiday, my very favorite season.  They go hand in hand, and they are by far the most fun time of the year.  Comfortable cool weather, campfires, cigars, scary costumes, hay rides, scary movies, cookies, pumpkins, scaring kids, killing deer, Obama losing elections, Black Velvet, dead people, old silos.... OH... sorry... so I added some of my own weird ones.  ON to the next topic...

#2) Worn-in old ballcaps.  They are one of the few things in this world that smell horrendous, but make me smile.  (Except when one of my buddies passes gas somewhere they shouldn't... but that's a different kind of smile)

#1) A really good beverage.  What a strange #1 right?  My wife can tell you though, I get seriously excited over a good beverage.  It can either be something I've had, and already know it's great... or something I've never had, and am finding that it's great.  I can't tell you how much I over-react to a great cup of coffee, glass of port, or good espresso.... it's really ridiculous. 





26 comments:

Raising the Rollins' said...

Okay, I HAVE to comment on your #1. My #1 would be watching you drink your favorite beverage...that's real entertainment (you know what I'm talking about Linders)!

And, let's be honest about why you love autumn so much...that's when you became the luckiest man in the world! You married me :-) !!!!!

Vonda said...

It's like you're reading my mind man. A brand new pair of white cotton socks is one of life's greatest pleasures. They instantly warm your whole body in winter and believe it or not they keep you cool in summer (while in the bed by insulating your feet from one another). Sometimes when I'm having a bad day I'll go out and buy a "six pack" of new socks. I'll go home and take them out of the bag and smell them. Yep...I said it...new socks have a unique, fresh, right out of the bag scent. Then I'll put them on. It's like sliding your feet into knitted joy. New socks rule. That would at least be in my top five. Interesting article Matt. Later.
-Brent

Special K said...

Dude you seriously crack me up. But i totally agree about old ballcaps. They are the BEST ever. That would definitely be my number 1.

Only Servants Ministries said...

Yes, Beth.... I could see it right away in my head. But he was drinking a Mt. Dew in my head. hehe

I'm not sure if people thought this was nearly as funny as I did. I mean- i woke Chris up laughing and eventually had to bring myself downstairs.

The only other person that might laugh as hard as me (and Beth) would be Chris... but he's sleeping. Can't wait. Matt- you are out of control per usual.

Oh and "Poly Sana Kaka" means : Very Sorry Brother- so the way you used it... was inappropriate. But thanks for trying to speak Kiswalhili. Tender.

Can't wait to watch your hilarity in person. :)
Lub, lub, lub, lub
LT

Only Servants Ministries said...

I have to comment on Brent's comment first dude. So, Brent, when you are having a bad day, you go out an drown your sorrows with a 6-pack ..... of new socks? Ha, that's just great. I love the odd humor in that.

Dude, Harp Music? Now that's just gay.

~CT

Lindsey Broere said...

Um yeah...I am SO with you on the new socks...new socks have to be in my top five of all time...new socks and hoodies (Beth can attest to that one).

And I guess the skeleton hanging from your pot rack that never struck me as strange gives you a good indication that very little in the Matt realm really surprised me :-)

gk said...

OH MY GOSH I LOVE POST IT NOTES!!!

you're my favorite.

Renee' said...

I'm with you on Autumn and Halloween. Truly my favorite season and holiday! Have you seen the motorcycle with the sidecar in HP? The guy drives with his dog in the sidecar. I love it...that could be me one day. And yes, the dog has eye and head protection on.

Vonda said...

Yes Chris a six pack. Sometimes when I'm having an exceptionally cruddy day I indulge in a four pack of thermal boot socks. You know the one's that they make monkey dolls out of? Sort of brown with a red band around the top. They are to socks what Oliva's are to cigars. Premium pleasure at an affordable price.
-Brent

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